Why am I awake?

It's 12:30 am and I'm awake. I just can't fall asleep. This is probably only the second time in my life I've had insomnia and, boy, does it suck. I have a huge list of things to do in the next two days, which is what I suspect is keeping me up. I just wrote them all down in the hopes of purging my brain. I suppose I could get caught up on some email or something. I'd really rather be sleeping.

My life revolves around someone else's sleeping habits

Around American Thanksgiving, Kate went on a nap strike. She would not nap in her crib and one day she protested for 75 minutes rather than giving in to sleep. So, for almost two months she would take her nap in the stroller or the car seat, usually for about 45 minutes. It sucked.

After being sick last week, I decided to try again to get her to sleep in her crib during the day. We started on Thursday or Friday (I don't remember) and she cried for about 30 minutes, but finally gave in to sleep. The next day, the protest was shorter. Until yesterday, when there was none at all. And today, when she came and told me it was nap time (although she's not asleep. She's chattering away in there, so maybe I'm speaking too soon about this success.)

She's been sleeping for 1.5-2 hours in her crib for almost a week. It's been heavenly.

The Great Nap Battle

It used to be, what seems a long, long time ago, that Kate went down for her nap quite easily. I would nurse her and she fell asleep and easily transferred to her crib. But sometime last week, that changed and now she wakes up during the transfer and cries. And cries. It's been over 30 minutes and she's still crying. Last week there was one day when it was a very short 7 minutes, but generally it goes on and on. I'm still holding out hope that she exhausts herself (it is a very pathetic cry at this point) and sleep for a few hours.

I'm not a fan of this new nap routine.

We're now at the one hour mark, and she's still crying. A bit more worked up now, so I'm about ready to go in. But then she wins. Sigh. Oh, and now she's quiet. This seems unwinnable.

After 75 minutes, the crying escalated so I went in. Dirty diaper, tear streaked face, blubbering. It was very sad and broke my heart a bit (but only a bit. She needs to sleep!). Now, post snack, she is playing happily. We will soon load into the stroller and go for a looooooong walk.

4 pm, finally asleep in crib. This is very much what happened on Friday afternoon as well, and I hate it. I did the same thing (staying in there, kept laying her back down, etc. etc.) when I was getting her to sleep at night. She never resisted for as long though. I need a stiff drink.

What the hell is going on?

Kate was up four times last night. Two of them were very brief - she calmed down as soon as I entered her room. The other two took a lot longer, and finally required the boob. I have no idea what was going on. The temperature in her room was good, She went to bed at her normal time, she ate dinner (as much as usual, anyway). She doesn't seem to be sick at all. The only thing I can think of is that some teeth are on their way, although there isn't much evidence of that either.

I hope tonight is better.

Sleep update

The last three nights have been good. Tuesday night, Kate woke up at 1:30 and after 50 minutes went back to sleep without me picking her up or nursing (which would include picking her up. It would be hard to nurse without first picking her up.) Then she woke again at 7:00 when I nursed her. She surprised me by going back to sleep until 10!! The last two nights she has slept until about 6:30-ish when I nurse her and she sleeps til about 8. So, we seem to have dropped the 1:30/2 am wake up, and she is getting really good at going to sleep on her own. I don't mind the early morning wake up, but I'm hoping that one will disappear soon too.

Sigh. Just call me inconsistent

In some ways, last night was great. Kate slept without me going in, from 9 until 6. She woke up around 2:30 but put herself back to sleep. So, that was awesome. She's getting much better about putting herself to sleep. She's always been good at it when she first goes to bed, but now she's doing it at naps, and apparently, in the middle of the night as well.

But then 6 am. She started in on the real cry (as opposed to the moaning cry, from which she can calm herself). I went in, and she was sitting sadly in her crib. At that point, the thought of 1.5 hours of working on it just didn't work for me. It would put her almost at wake up time. And my boobs were painful. So, I nursed her and she went back to sleep (eventually. she was pretty awake) and slept until 8.

So, a 9 hour stretch of sleep. Yay! Nursing her back to sleep. Not so good.

But I'm doing the best I can.

How it went

Well, I guess it depends on the point of the training. Is it to get her to sleep longer stretches? If so, then it was successful. She slept from 3 until 8:45 (normally she wakes up around 5 or 6). But if it's to teach her that she doesn't get to snuggle and nurse in the night, then it wasn't successful.

She woke up around 12:45 and I went in and stayed next to her crib while she cried and screamed to be picked up. I kept laying her down, singing to her, telling her it was time to sleep, and apologizing for changing the rules. After a long time of hysterical crying, she stopped trying to get up and laid there whimpering. I thought she was going to fall asleep, but she had a second wind and went back to crying. That happened three or four times. I finally went to check the time, and we'd been doing it for 1.5 hours. Too long. So, at the next hysterical crying, I picked her up and we snuggled. Which led to nursing, because there was no way she was going to not nurse if she was that close to the boobs. She was going crazy. So, I nursed her and put her back in her crib not quite asleep and she then slept through til morning.

Sigh. We'll try again tonight.

Time for sleep training

Last night I decided I was finally done being up with Kate twice a night. Not sure why it took me so long, but there you have it. I have been dreading this process, but I know that after a few really bad nights that it will be better. We want to do it before Graeme starts teaching, since we'll likely be getting a lot less sleep.

Wish us luck. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm DREADING it.

In Telluride

We arrived in Telluride yesterday just before noon. The town was still chock full of bluegrass festival goers, which made the scene even more hippy than usual. We found out that our condo (condo!) wasn't cleaned yet, so we parked the car and headed to the pizza place for a bit of lunch. While we were sitting on their porch, the lightening and thunder started and before long the skies opened up. It wasn't rain, but it wasn't hail. It was big clumps of really wet snow that melted within a few seconds of hitting the ground. I hadn't seen anything quite like that before.

Post lunch, we stopped at the grocery store for a few supplies before heading back to the condo. (Condo!) Last year when we were here we had hotel room right near the base of the gondola. The location was great, but the room was nothing to blog about. But the condo! is great. Two bedrooms on the lower floor and then the living room/kitchen/dining room on the top floor. And a baby gate already installed at the top of the stairs. It's really nice. Not so close to everything, but there is a nice path along the river to take to get to everything.



After hanging out for a few hours in the condo, we headed back toward the center of things. I wanted to go to the library to try to find some knitting patterns. (the ones I brought aren't quite right for the yarn I brought. Ooops.) The library is new and quite lovely and had a very large selection of knitting books. I photocopied a bunch of patterns and we headed back to main street to hear a bit of the music. We sat in the grass and did some dancing before deciding on an early dinner at the brew pub.

(view from the kitchen window)


Kate headed to bed around 8:30 and Graeme and I enjoyed hanging out in the living room. But then came the worst night ever. I was up with Kate at 10:30, 12:30, 1:30, 3, 4, 5. At 5:15 I sent Graeme in to snuggle with her. At 5:30 I went back in and spent the rest of the night (til 8:30) sleeping with her. At 5:30 I gave her some tylenol because she was crying as if something was definitely wrong (not just tired) and I thought she might have a headache from the altitude. I think now that she might have been cold on her own as well. We will try to make her warmer tonight and see what happens. Unfortunately, she's gotten used to me sleeping with her for the early morning hours since that has happened the past few nights. Not a good habit.

She is now playing on the carpet with her books and eating some Cherios, acting as though nothing happened. While I feel like the living dead.

But here is a view from our front door:

A fleeting milestone

Kate put herself to sleep for her nap today. She does this from time to time at night, but never ever for nap time.

Yay!!

Our first parenting award

We got our first bad parent award today. We've been having Kate nap on our bed even though in the last few weeks she's been getting more mobile. I knew that at some point we wouldn't be able to have her napping there. Today was the day. I heard her stirring after only an hour, so I was quite sure she would fall back to sleep. Instead, a few minutes later a thump followed by a scream. She's fine, and landed on her feet/bum, but it was scary for all of us. Now we have to adjust to her going down for her naps in her crib. It's going to suck for a few days.

And I'll miss snuggling with her on the bed before she falls asleep. I wonder if I can fit in her crib.

Newsy update

This is going to be a very newsy post, since there are a bunch of things I haven't blogged about yet. So, let's just jump in.

- Kate has been sleeping a bit better for the past four days. Only waking up once to nurse around 2 or 3 and sleeping until 7:30-ish. Much better. It's not totally consistent yet, but at least we aren't up every 2 or 3 hours and she's spending the whole night in her crib. Definite improvement. She is still working on those top teeth and has a persistent runny nose because of it.

- We started swim lessons (ok, it's more water familiarity lesson) on Friday. I was a bit worried about how it would go since she hated the attempt at swimming in Hawaii. But the water was very warm, and she actually loved it. There was joyous squealing. (Which, in a swimming pool is very echoey and loud. Certainly got everyone's attention.) Her favourite part was singing The Hokey Pokey. That's when the squealing started.

- I've started working for a few hours a week at the bike shop again. Kate comes with me, and we stay until she gets cranky. Tomorrow we're going to ride to work. I hope that goes well. I'm definitely ready to start getting back in shape. And I know my definition of 'in shape' is totally skewed.

- We're having a good weekend at home. We are doing just a few small projects (and one large one - Graeme is doing a temporary fix on the rotting portion of the deck). Last night we went to Sheryl and Jonathan's to celebrate his birthday with an evening of Dance Dance Revolution.

I'm sure there were other things to report, but I can't think of them. And no photos because I left the camera at the shop last week. Oops.

Coming up for breath

It's been awhile since I posted, and I blame it on extreme tiredness. Kate is still not sleeping very well, although it's gotten better since The Worst Night Yet. I have a new theory that it's gas related. She has been farting a lot so we're going to cut out solid food for a few days and see if her sleep improves. If there is a noticeable difference, we'll add food back in slowly. Maybe we just introduced too much too fast for her developing digestive system.

We have had a good week, other than being tired. We were busy with play dates, walks, work, more walks and play. Kate has been making attempts at moving around, although she gets more frustrated than anything else. But she's starting to make some progress. We'll work on it a lot this week.

As a penance for not posting for more than a week, I give you a montage of Kate called "I want that camera".

Seven months and the worst night ever

Yesterday Kate turned seven months old. It seems a big step when your baby is more than half a year. Not such a wee one anymore. (Not that she's been wee for awhile now. 20 lbs 10 oz at her 6 month check up.) To commemorate her big day, she had the worst night ever last night. For the first time she had me near tears. Even in the first difficult weeks that didn't happen. It started around 2 am, and until 6 she wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her. She would wake up and fuss if I put her in her crib. Her nose was a bit stuffy, and it really seemed like something was bothering her. At 5:30 I finally got Graeme up (that was when the tears were coming) and we gave her some Tylenol and brought her to bed with us. She slept until 8. So, I got about 4.5 hours sleep last night.

But then she does this, and how can you be mad at her?

Graeme is home!

Graeme got home about an hour ago. Yay! It's so nice to have him home, not least because I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I seldom get sick, but every two years or so I get a cold. And I have one now. Not snotty, but it hurts to swallow and my head feels heavy and wooly. I don't know if Kate has it due to the lack of obvious symptoms, but she slept badly last night and had a 3 hour nap today (I slept with her for 2.5 hours of it). We're going to go for a walk in the sun since the dog has been totally neglected today and then I might sleep again. I could sleep all day, I think.

No What's cooking Wednesday today. We'll probably just grill something and have lots of veggies with it. If I'm feeling better tomorrow, I'll try something new, otherwise I'll just call it a wash.

Anyone have any home remedies for colds they would like to share? Honey? Ginger? Lemon? All of the above?

A new record!

Kate's morning nap was 1.5 hours! It's normally about 45 minutes. I had time to move a bunch of boxes to the attic, install her new carseat and have my lunch! We'll see how this new development effects the afternoon nap. But for now we're heading out for a walk in the perfect Texas winter weather.

She's come undone

Kate is still swaddled at night and sleeps longer when she's wrapped up. Now that she is very interested in sucking her thumb, we have tried a couple of times to put her down in her sleep sack but invariably she wakes up a short time later. But for the past week or so, she has managed to free her arms from the swaddle even when wrapped up tight, and yesterday morning she woke up in frustration at not being able to get them out. I took that as a sign.

Last night I put her to bed in her sleep sack, fully expecting to go in and put her back to sleep after only an hour or so. But she surprised me! She slept from 8:30 until 5 this morning when she nursed, got a diaper change and went back to sleep. But only until 7 when she decided she was up for the day.

I'm very excited about this development. I was expecting to be up every couple of hours for a few nights while she adjusted to her new found arm freedom, but she continues to surprise me.

4 month appointment

Today was Kate's four month check up. Only a couple of weeks late. She weighed in at 18.5 lbs (off the chart) and 90th percentile for height (25.5") and 50th percentile for head circumference. She's still a bit of a Weeble, I guess. The doctor was very pleased with her development. It helped, I'm sure, that Kate was smiling and happy. She was even a champ for her immunizations. She cried, of course, but was smiling again as soon as Graeme picked her up.

We told the doctor about her recent habit of waking up in the night around 4 am to nurse (after sleeping through the night for almost two months). She said that we could try to delay going in to her and she might calm herself, or at least we could push it til 5 or 6. That sounds super stressful to me, but we'll give it a try. Or, at least we'll talk about giving it a try. Small steps.

The Tradeoff

Kate slept ten hours straight last night, from 9 til 7. I still woke up around 5 when she was grunting and farting, but went back to sleep. But after that long sleep, she was done sleeping for awhile and talked and played until about 8:45. She is now sleeping in her swing. Usually if she wakes up between 5 and 6, she nurses and then goes back to sleep until about 9. Which means I go back to sleep until about 9. But now I'm up and have been since 7. I've had breakfast and tea, so I can't go back to sleep now. I love sleeping in, but I can't really complain about her sleeping 10 hours straight.

I guess I'll have to start going to bed earlier, which means giving up some knitting time. Sigh.

Oh, sweet sleep

For the last nights, Kate has slept from midnight until 7 am. Wowsers. The first night I had to get up at 5 am to pump because I was engorged, but I fell right back to sleep. Heavenly. I know that it might not last, but it has been lovely.